Well, first of all, I’m sorry. I abandoned this blog completely by accident, but it’s great to say I’m here to stay!
lots has happened in these six months, and its helped me grow so much as a person. I fell in love for the first time, got dumped (more on that in the next post), and I’ve kind of just been an emotional wreck. Butttttt, I’m allowed to be. I’ve come to terms that i don’t have to be happy 24/7 or even happy for a whole week. there will be good things and bad things, sometimes the bad things are horrible, but that makes the happy times even better.
Sweet dreams lovelies!
Today, I went to my local park, and wrote a load of happy messages in the snow. I felt like I was in such a good mood, that I wanted others to feel I too. I smile as I look back at the photos I took. I just love helping others. So that got me thinking, why don’t I start a series, of me giving advice, from the comments below! So, if you are ever in need of some advice, head back tot his post, and leave a comment. I’ll be sure to reply as soon as possible. I’m so excited to start helping you out a little!
Sweet dreams xx
angry doesn’t cut it. I’m furious. Outraged. My life is aggravating. every moment something good happens, someting worse comes with it. im angry at myself. im angy at others around me. my head is spinning. my muscles ache. and now reading this back it sounds like anxiety rather than anger. i cant explain how lucky i am, but that can change the way i look at myself. i think what my brain is telling me isnt right, is stupid, because someone else out there has it worse that me.
(i know this is a part one but sorry if i dont finish it)
mental health is a massive killer in today’s society. 1 in every 3 people suffer/ have suffered from a mental illness. I do too. Although, I don’t have my life too bad (even if every one I know, has it better than me financially and mentally), I feel like I need to
shut myself up when I start to talk about how I’m feeling. I know its normal to feel sad, anxious or even depressed but with me I can feel like something isn’t right. I don’t like talking to people about myself so I’ve never really asked for professional help. I just feel nothing. I feel like I’m dreaming all the time. I’m super spaced out and I cant focus. Life is a blur. I’m always tired. Just breathing seems like hard work
this phrase is all too familiar to me. Even my family say this to me. It drains me. The thing is, when I say these things that provoke the phrase, it is because I’m loosing grip of my life. I say it because I need that extra help to gain grip. In my life I have experienced many depressing and emotionally scarring moments. Nothing physical, but verbally. I’ve been bullied, I’ve had friends turn on my and start rumors about me, and recently dealt with my first experience of death. Life isn’t fun, unless you surround yourself with positivity. In true life of Brian style, you have to “always look on the bright side of life”
anyway, thank you for listening to me babble on, I hope you have a amazing start to 2018! ❤
hello to anyone who might see this! Whether you have clicked on this because you want to know more about me or you are just being plain nosey, I am grateful for you. If you want to learn some basic things about me, check out my other blog posts, Hello world!! and diary. ( they will open in new tabs)
for me, blogging is therapeutic. Just to lay down my thoughts and feeling for someone, if anyone, to know. It just feels natural for all these words to flow out of my fingers (but it does take a lot of editing). I write so much I have to cut down everything, because I just tend to waffle on about anything and everything.
my blog feels like a safety blanket. I can spend a day fuming, and then come and spread my thoughts all over my blog. I’ve never done more than one blog a day, but I do write some private blogs that no one has ever seen apart from me. I like having this little secret identity. It lets me deal with all my problems without nyone being able to track me down and march up my drive way, holding abusive messages written on large pieces of card.
anyways, its getting late and if I type anymore its gonna get real deep.
I’ve started a diary. I think im am going to start posting them on here, but, it doesn’t mean I will post all of my diary entries. here we go…
ugh. why is life so hard. im anxious about making other people feel bad and stuff like that. I hate that I don’t do/say what i want to because of it. i feel really stupid right now. my brain has all of these feelings and i don’t know how to handle them all. i dont feel like myself. i just dont feel me. that may be to do with not seeing anyone i know for over a month. i need some help to battle this wave. everything feels so intense. overwhelming.
im just too tired to think let alone function. ive had many almost sleepless nights, worrying, panicking, over stupid things.
im so happy auto correct is a thing, otherwise, every word would be misspelt terribly.
I joke a lot about feeling dead inside but now I really do. I just don’t know how to cope.
And to be honest, I’m surprised I am even posting this. I might take it down after a couple days but oh well.